David Awaits

GUEST COMMENTARY

In 1999 The Wall Street Journal published the findings of a longitudinal study done to see how family structure affects criminal activity and here is what they discovered:

Boys raised outside of intact marriages are, on average more than twice as likely as other boys to end up jailed. A child born to an unwed mother is about 2 1/2 times as likely to end up imprisoned, while a boy whose parents split during his teenage years was about 1 1/2 times as likely to be imprisoned. - - Children raised by single mothers are five times more likely to live in poverty, compared to children with both parents. Children who do not live with their fathers are 3 times more likely to fail at school or to quit. - - The burgeoning imprisonment rate over the past three decades has compounded the problem as more fathers are incarcerated and more children are left behind. According the Bureau of Justice Statistics, almost 1.5 million minors had a mother or father in prison in the year 2000, an increase of more than 500,000 since 1991. Additionally, children of offenders are 6 times more likely than their peers to end up in prison.

More to think about:

[These are based on NY's population] More than 6 percent of black men in NY cannot vote because they are in prison or on parole. Nationwide, 13% of the black adult male population (1.4 million African-American men) currently or permanently lost the ability to vote because of a felony conviction, according to a 1999 report by the Human Rights Watch and the Sentencing Project. "Given current rates of incarceration, three in 10 in the next generation of black men will be disenfranchised at some point on their lifetime. In states with the most restrictive voting laws, 40% of African-American men are likely to be permanently disenfranchised.

With this said, David awaits...

The "David generation" - the "almost forgotten", "the neglected", "the overlooked", "the dirty and not so appealing", "the last resort", "the low-to-no expectations group," and the generation that has been on the backside of the desert, out of sight and out of mind. Only David does not know that he is the very one that will be crowned king, who will carry the heart of God, and usher in His Lordship over the kingdoms of this world. Yet he awaits Samuel...

Samuel has been given charge to go and anoint Gods chosen King, but Samuel must be led of God and obedient to the Spirit, for man looks on the outward, but God looks at the inward. Therefore Samuel cannot judge on his own who is elect of God by what he can see or what he thinks he knows of an individuals lifestyle, background, appearance, or experience.

The spirit of David destroys room for excuses for not pursing and conquering. He was a pursuer, and needed no one to tell him "if" he could accomplish something. He did not need this for two reason: (1) David was affirmed as being something more than what he could have imagined - this in turn brought about his faith. (2) While in the process of becoming (on the backside) he prepared himself and sharpened the tools that he was given, feeling no lack, thereby breeding courage. Faith and Courage - Faith that God IS because he said he was, and Courage because he knew that he had taken the time to make himself skilled, and competitive - the best. This is important because when the time came for him to ACT, he was able to stand in both his solidarity and GOD’s. David mastered his simple little sling shot with no resentment and towered over those that had been equipped with what appeared to be more.

Born fighters, without a fight. That’s who we have become. But the truth of the matter is that there continues to be a slaughter, and the adversary has all the points on the scoreboard because we won a round, and in the midst of our celebration were knocked off of our feet into a slumber. But because we were already tired anyway, rest is what we needed, right? Yes, however there was a change in operation. We need to teach our youth to work smarter and not harder. This is why we/they are so weary because when we have been fighting, we use the same tactics that the enemy has learned to counter, not to mention the enemy has left the building and is now using something computer-run, because he is fighting smarter.

KwilliamsPhd

THIS IS ABSOLUTELY TRUE! WE, AS THE NEXT GENERATION OF LEADERS, HAVE TO DO A BETTER JOB OF REACHING OUR YOUNG PEOPLE THAN OUR FOREFATHERS DID. WE CAN'T USE THE SAME TACTICS AS USED IN THE 1970's OR THE 1980's. WE HAVE TO REALIZE THAT THE BATTLE IS MORE FIERCE TODAY THAN IT WAS YESTERDAY. JUST AS IN YESTERDAY'S BLOG FROM THE DESERT OF IRAQ. WHAT IF OUR TROOPS WERE FIGHTING TODAY WITH THE SAME ARTILLERY FROM VIETNAM? WE WOULD BE IN TROUBLE, RIGHT? IT'S THE SAME FOR TODAY. OUR PARENTS DIDN'T HAVE THE SAME DISTRACTIONS AS WE DO TODAY BUT WE CONTINUE TO USE THE SAME SELF-HELP BOOKS THAT "DID IT" FOR US. WE CAN'T DO THAT ANY LONGER. TO REACH THIS "DAVID" GENERATION, WE HAVE TO ROLL UP OUR SLEEVES AND GET IN THE DIRT WITH THEM TO GET THEM TO SEE THE ARTILLERY THAT THEY ARE HOLDING IN THEIR HANDS NOW! THEY MAY NOT BE ABLE TO USE WHAT WE USED. BUT THAT'S OKAY. JUST BECAUSE IT DIDN'T WORK FOR YOU DOES NOT MEAN THAT IT WON'T WORK FOR THEM. DAVID COULDN'T TAKE KING SAUL'S ARMOR INTO BATTLE. HE HAD TO USE WHAT HE ALREADY HAD IN HIS HAND. JUST A REGULAR OLD SLING SHOT!

JUST SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT! REAL TALK...

Real Talk (from the desert of Iraq)

I write to pronounce "Real Talk" to you all. For so long you have been told riff-raff from the world to the church, from leaders, to your friends, who sits right next to you on certain issues and this day I tell you IT CEASES NOW!!! I even have, at times, spoke to just cause an excitement to many and even though my intentions seemed good I had trouble dealing with the same issues that you all go through myself. I said what seemed to be the right thing to say but like the saying goes "Talk is cheap": and it’s "easier said than done". So for a moment let me get "Real". Now before I came to this conclusion to address this and expose myself I had to go through some transformation and I had to let GOD in all the way to reveal where I have came from. I went through some things in my life from childhood to even in the now that some can relate to. I grew up without a physical father in the household and from being the oldest and watching my mother struggle angered me and put a hatred and distrust in my heart for him as well as other men. I watched two more men bring my brothers into the world and do the same thing and it was not only a disrespect to my mom but to me as well because it made me feel like I was more of a burden than a blessing. Of all the men in my family only my uncle Tim seemed to have any sense on positive living, I was never constantly around him to take it and apply it. I grew up around and for you holy folks cover your ears up "NIGGAS" who never had anything going for them and clearly didn't care and what there life was about at times but you know that they were something that most of the men in my family wasn't "AROUND" and even though I didn't succumb to their lifestyle fully I took on some of the ways of the streets from gangs to feeling like you had to prove yourself to people all the time and it was hard because I fell in between worlds from trying to hang with the "Big dawgs" and staying in my lane with the "young guns". Which is where a lot of you are today.

I grew up in a church that was traditional to no end. Kids were there to fill pews and listen and give no insight and you all know what type of church I'm talking about, ain't that right? So it never occurred to me until I left that church why the youth that came out of that church growing up with me seemed to be in the same position. The only thing I could tell you about the church is that cushioned pews feel a lot better than wooden ones ‘cuz sleeping is all I did. So I found myself before I knew it a teenager camouflaged between two worlds. I was mature enough, thanks to a wonderful mother, to adapt to the big kids but I didn't miss just being the playful little “Vonnie” that everyone seemed to like. I still, to myself, felt worthless! Even though people came around and told me that I had a knack for making them laugh, it was all a front because deep inside I saw myself depressed and inadequate. Because of the absence of my father and the struggle of my family, I used making other people laugh as a defense mechanism to keep people from noticing my hurt and learning about my business because I knew when people hear about you they gossip to others and before you know it the whole city knows your business. I couldn't see myself going down that path but it happened anyway.
Like I said around this time I'm a teenager and I’m going through things that as an adolescent I didn't go through like getting involved with girls…Intimately a.k.a. SEX, hittin’ it, getting some swizz, creepin’, you know the slang!!! I was told that I attracted people very easily by the way I was and I always treated women with respect ‘cuz my mama instilled that in me if nothing else, (I have the wounds to prove it). But during this time period I fell accustomed to always needing somebody around me. For those who don’t know, once you've had sex, I’m telling you good or bad, you want it again and again. For me, I felt lonely without it and in the relationships I got myself into I didn't force it but it was known that it was needed from time to time. Before I knew it, I would be getting IT on the regular and it wasn't with just one partner because I needed something new and fresh, you know how ya’ll buy your tennis shoes – you buy the new Jordan’s today and turn around next month and get the new pair that come out. (I worked at Finish Line I know the routine quite well). But the sex drive had me going - I had to have it. For a while it seemed great because my playa’ resume looked full and on the female side of things I had no complaints. The females talked so it made others curious to get to know me for themselves so to me the more the better.

But sex costs and the price is "Drama." I discovered that I didn’t love these women but on the contrary, I was making soul ties because some of the stuff that I was going through with them was not even in my nature to begin with. It got to the point where I was getting caught up in more drama than a “lil bit” if it wasn’t another dude that wanted to fight me, it was one of my sisters who I ended up arguing with over some “he say she say” garbage. It was a trip!

So after all that happened I had to make a change and that had to be "Letting GO" which is the HARDEST THING TO DO. I first thought that coming over here to Iraq would get me away from the drama but I found myself getting into the same issues over here in the desert. God had to show me that this was something that I could NOT run from any longer. I had to surrender to Him and make myself available for HIM to change me. In other words, I couldn’t change myself! I tell you its not easy and it won't get easy everything in life is a test and everything happens for a reason I put my business out there so you could see that even me, a leader still has to contend with my issues and God has been showing me that I am a seed and in order for me to grow into greatness I had to have some dirt. I can't live for acceptance of the world because they can't give me the destiny that HE has for me. While being over here I have found that I continue to mess up because I’m not perfect and its a daily struggle to be a man of GOD when everything and everyone around you is opposite but I ask for your prayers as I fight and I stay before God daily to protect me from all hurt harm and danger. I MUST REMAIN FOCUSED because any moment could be my last as I stand on watch for a nation. I love you all and that's REAL TALK from one who once fell but got back up.

Sgt. Tavon Patterson

TAVON IS LEARNING TO ENDURE THE TESTS AND TRIALS OF LIFE! IT'S GOT NOTHING TO DO WITH LOCATION...AS YOU CAN SEE FROM HIS BLOG, THE SAME DRAMA THAT HE ENCOUNTERED HERE IN THE STATES WAS OVER THERE IN THE DESERT OF IRAQ AS WELL. WAKE UP AND REALIZE THAT GENERATIONS ARE WAITING FOR YOU TO DISCOVER SOMETHING GREATER ABOUT LIFE.

I ASK YOU, DID YOU TAKE THE BAIT AND FALL SHORT? IF SO, WIPE YOURSELF OFF, GET UP AND START OVER! GET RID OF THE CROWD THAT YOU'VE BEEN AFRAID TO LET GO OF! IT WON'T BE EASY BUT GOD WILL GRACE YOU THROUGH THIS TIME. COUNT IT ALL JOY! YOU'RE STILL ALIVE AREN'T YOU? OKAY THEN, WHY ARE YOU WHINING AND COMPLAINING? IT COULD BE WORSE! REJOICE BECAUSE GOD IS MAKING YOU INTO WHO HE ORDAINED FOR YOU TO BE!

IT'S GOING TO BE ALL RIGHT!

Endure the Test!

You have to remember that it’s only a test. No matter what the situation is no matter who has walked out on you…remember that it’s a test! I had to speak last night and the word is still in my spirit today. Sometimes we allow circumstances to overwhelm us and get the best of us and then we end up reacting negatively when God was trying to see if we were ready for the “next level.” You know the next level that I’m talking about. It’s what everybody keeps saying, “I’m ready to go to the next level!” Well, what’s the next level? What does the next level entail? Can you handle the level you’re on now? If not, how do you think you’re going to survive the next phase of life?

Just some questions that you have to ask yourself. I know I had to ask myself just the other day when I allowed myself to get weighed down due to circumstances beyond my control. Don’t take the bait! Don’t allow yourself to fall victim to the circumstances as they appear. Remember, looks can be deceiving and most of the time, that’s all it really is, an appearance. The situation, no matter what it looks like, is just that, a situation and it’s temporary.

It’s what I call, TEMPORARY DISCOMFORT! You have to keep in mind that this isn’t your end, but only a hallway to what God has planned for you. So, don’t let those whom you are connected too weigh you down. Don’t allow your job, marriage, church, community groups, etc. to overwhelm you in such a way that you begin to curse what God is using to make you into who He wants you to be!

I’m not speaking from the “cheap seats” like I don’t know what I’m talking about. I know, first hand, how rough it can get and how circumstances can overwhelm you in such a way, you’d just rather throw your hands up in the air and cuss a _______ out! I feel you! Been there! Done That! But even after you’ve got your two cents out, the situation is still what it was before you cussed. God isn’t concerned with our temper tantrum! I know this personally because I am one who reacts sometimes before I think, but thanks to the Lord I am doing a lot better.

Someone asked me, “How are you able to let stuff roll off you so well?” My response was, “It isn’t that easy, but the more I do it, the easier it gets!” I’ve made the decision to remember daily the prophesy over my life! I’ve made the decision to get rid of the friends that still want to “tip and dip.” I’ve made the decision to stand firm and praise God in the midst of persecution because in the final analysis, WHAT I’M GOING THROUGH IS ONLY A TEST! ENDURE IT, IT’S JUST A TEMPORARY INCONVENIENCE!

Don't Take the Bait

Out of all the days for drama to erupt in my life, this has to be one of the worst! I’m too busy for this, there are too many things going on and I feel like I’m in a constant battle over nothing but DRAMA! This week has to be one of the most hectic weeks and it’s during this time that I’m finding out who my real friends are. It’s quite unfortunate that I couldn’t find out during times of comfort and convenience. NO, that would be too much like right…rather, I have to find out during times of challenge and controversy just who is a friend and who is an enemy. It’s rather sad, of course, because I don’t need this sh## in my life right now. I’ve got one deadline after another and the last thing I need in my life is the sound of heckling hens in my ear.

To make matters all the more worse, a relationship that I thought I had dealt with came springing back into my life and all I could say is WHOA!! I mean, this relationship has been over, this was way back when I was in school and I thought that the soul tie was SNIPPED. That is, until I heard their voice on the phone yesterday. All I could say is DAMN! Feelings came from nowhere and all I could say is, “God, if you don’t help, it won’t be helped!”

This is the type of real life drama that I have to contend with on a day-to-day basis and I can’t allow myself to get arrogant and think that I got everything together because if I do, that’s when I’m going to land flat on my butt! I’ve got to be reminded daily that my strength doesn’t rest in me. I am not strong. But, my strength is in the Lord! That’s how I deal with the drama from work, the Lord. That’s how I deal with the never-ending drama at church, the Lord!! That’s how I deal with the everlasting drama of relationships, the Lord. If I wasn’t wrapped up with the Lord I would have lost my mind because I truly have to be real and say that this is the week that somebody would get cussed the hell out! That’s how tired I am right about now.

This past Sunday, the message at church was entitled, Don’t Take the Bait! I can take that any, which way, depending on the circumstance that I want to address. However, for the sake of continuity, I’ll only use what I’ve addressed today so far. Don’t take the bait is remembering in relationships that there are people that are sent on assignment from the enemy to get you off course. I see it day-in and day-out, especially with a lot of my brothers. They fall for the first slut that hits the door and it’s amazing and I’m humbled because I used to be the exact same way! Don’t take the bait is remembering that the people at your church are acting as agents of the enemy not for your down fall but for your unveiling! The drama is being sent to work patience. No matter how many deadlines I have, I need and have to keep in my mind that it’s making me stronger. I don’t know about you but patience is something that I need to work on because I’m quick to lose my temper. I’m quick to cuss you out! Don’t take the bait, Stand! Stand knowing that your hope is built on the Lord! I have a saying that I say all the time, GOD AND GOD ALONE!

During this time of transition, know that God and God alone will see you through. Don’t’ get weary and allow anyone to cause you to forfeit the prophesy over your life. The challenges that have been sent, the trials and tribulations have come your way have done so to make you strong, to build character, to prove you so that you can go to the nations and be a true representative of God’s goodness and His mercy.

Get Ready to Come Forth

In spite of everything that is still not exactly right in your life, prepare to COME FORTH! I know that seems foreign or far-fetched, knowing the thoughts that forever loom in your mind. I know that you are quick to think that you’re not worthy of a greater vision because of the sin that may still creep back into your life, but even with all the drama. Prepare to come forth. What do I mean by come forth?

There are some dreams that you haven’t mentioned to anyone that you had just about given up on. Well, don’t give up and most definitely don’t throw in the towel because it’s going to happen for you. It’s going to come to pass. It’s going to manifest itself but it’s going to happen outside of your own parameters. The problem is and continues to be that you think too small. Your vision is larger than you have imagined it to be so you need to knock the walls down in your own mind and allow yourself to dream a bigger dream. I’m not saying that you just need to continue on with business as usual. NO, that is not what I’m saying because there are some counterfeit people who are tagging along in your life who are contributing to your small mindset. Get rid of them. Don’t worry about being alone because with God you’re never alone. I know that you’re probably wondering who will fill your excess time if you get rid of the dead weight (called friends), but I wouldn’t worry about that at this stage of the journey. When you think about it, what do you have to lose? They aren’t helping you as it is, so what are you really losing? NOTHING! These imposters have been filling up the space in your life passing the time away. So, get up and make preparations for a change to take place. Think bigger, tear down the walls in your own mind and enlarge your vision. Can you comprehend that God wants greater for you? He has His own agenda for you and it doesn’t involve your “mom and pop” mentality.

It’s amazing that most people hinder their own growth, because they allow people to weight them down. Don’t do it to yourself any longer. If you don’t know how to do it, pray and ask God to remove the “dead” weight from your life! I had to pray the same prayer just recently because I too had those around me who were hindering my capacity to grow. I couldn’t afford any longer to be held back all because of my fear of being alone. It’s not worth it, is it? Is the person or persons that good that you’d rather forsake the promise that God has for your life? It may not be a person; it could be a place or an issue that you’ve allowed to hinder your growth. Think about it and ask yourself if you’re willing to give up the blessing for a curse? I don’t know about you, but no person, place, or thing is that good that I’d rather forsake my destiny. Get ready to break out of the box because, if you’re willing to be uncomfortable and venture out in un-chartered waters, you are going to COME FORTH like never before!

Hold on, the NOT YET is on the way!

No one really understands the loneliness that I go through on a day-to-day basis. Too many, I'm looked to as HE-MAN, the master of the universe. Too others I'm looked at as a dad, to others I'm looked at as a son. Too many, I'm looked to as a potential husband and too a great many, I'm looked at as a shepherd or pastor. But still, no one knows what goes on between my two ears and the war of words that takes place while many believe I'm having a "mountain-top" experience.

When I say mountain top experience, what I'm referring to is the look of success. We get excited about things in life and all too often, the things that we are excited about are materialistic. Meaning, they can leave just as quick as they've come. We spend our days and nights being concerned and overwhelmed about everything except the main thing, which is LIVING to our fullest potential – LYFE. I ask myself questions like this all the time – what is the essence of life? Is my aim in life to “get” all I can? Is my aim or pursuit to acquire as much as I can in cars, money and land? If it is, what happens to all of it when I die? What in the hell is this journey called LYFE all about? It has to be something more to it than just going to work day-in and day-out doesn't it? I'm not going through the pains of loneliness just to simply die or am I?

Have you ever thought about life? Have you ever thought about why you were created? I don't know about you but I figure that I was created for more than just to have sex. I was created for more than just to drive a nice car and have a wonderful home. I was created for a greater purpose than the mediocre stuff that I allow myself to get “caught” up in. My struggle is with the here and now. The here and now is temporary but it's necessary to walk through in order to get to the NOT YET! And the tragedy of life is that most of us get fed up with the here and now and abort our not yet because the present condition seems too cumbersome. My challenge today, as hard as it is for me to do, is to get you to see that your NOT YET is something worth fighting for. No matter how bad it gets. It's worth the fight. The NOT YET is greater than the right now and if you endure, if I can get past the pain of my loneliness, my NOT YET will blot out my right now and I'll forget the pain and misery that I had to endure.

Hold on, I said I'll forget...but that's not necessarily true. Many people never will forget, but the pain will be a faint memory and will make a great testimony to a lot of people of what it took to get you to the NOT YET. Just like a mother who has just given birth to a child, she doesn’t forget the pain of birthing, however, the pain becomes rather dismal when the baby is placed in her arms. Although she will never forget, the joy that the baby brings her makes her look differently on what she just came through. So, I say again, HOLD ON!

WARNING: Keeping the wrong crowd or the wrong thing around you will hinder your NOT YET from coming to pass. So, consider yourself warned. Is it worth the wait? Is the club, the party, the nicotine, the weed, the cocaine, or anything else serious enough to jeopardize the blessing that God has in store for you? Is SHE that good? Is HE that good? Are the memories that good that you'd rather get stuck on a piece of _______? I can’t say too much for you, but me? I’d much rather get the blessing that God has in store for me. It’s not that crucial that you’d be willing to forfeit the blessing (whatever it may be) for a piece is it? To hell with you...I want the NOT YET more than a piece of anything. I don't care how good it was or still is...it's not that serious. I've got too many lives waiting on me. Don't you?

What Changed My Desire?

Today, just like any other day, is a day of uncertainties…what will take place? What will happen? Will this be like yesterday, a day of peace and rest or will today’s events shake my world? Who knows? I’ve been going strong now for a good while, and even with the press...I know that I’ve got to call it what it is. I’m tired. I don’t have time for certain catastrophic events to take place. Hell, if it were my choice, I’d be somewhere on the beach chillin’ for a couple of weeks. But, unfortunately, I can’t do that!

I’ve got a lot of work to do to prepare for my next steps. My next steps where? Not sure, all I know is that I can’t stay stagnant doing nothing. I’ve got to keep moving full speed ahead preparing for my next phase in life. This journey called LYFE throws all kinds of turns and twists and that’s what I have been preparing for. I didn’t think I was prepared for my world to be rocked years ago when I lost my mentor SUDDENLY but boy oh boy it was “shonuff” rocked! I didn’t think I could handle the phone call that came SUDDENLY when my father died and again, my world was shattered SUDDENLY but when I look back on those events I have to admit and confess that I found out how strong I really am.

I’ve come to realize on this journey that my trials and tribulations didn’t break me…they made me. They made me into the man that I am today. NO, I didn’t want the bad times at all, don’t get me wrong, all I’m saying is that if it had not been for the fire that God allowed to come and burn everything around me, I wouldn’t be doing some of the stuff that I do on a daily basis.

Someone asked me a couple weeks ago, “...what changed your desire?”

My desire changed after a process of trials and tribulations. I was one of the hardheaded men who thought I could get away with murder. I was cocky and arrogant and had the attitude that I was God’s gift to the world…forget just women…I had the attitude that I was God’s gift to any and everything that I came in contact with. So, the Lord had to get my attention by allowing all kinds of trials to come my way. Otherwise I don’t know if I would have awakened. It was the trials and the fire that was given access to invade my life that caused my outlook on life to change. It was my inability to believe that I could come out of my sexin’ and kickin’ it times! I’ll be honest; I didn’t want to give that up. I gave everything else up except for sex. I just couldn’t see that part of my life being null and void. Or, another way of looking at it is, I couldn’t see myself abstaining. I didn’t want to know what abstaining was. Keepin’ it real, I didn’t think that I had what it took to live a life free of sex.

Now that I am celibate, it’s amazing that I can look and see a number of people who were just like me…ALL CAUGHT UP not realizing what they keep doing to themselves. You see, it’s more than busting that nutt! (I hope that’s not too vulgar for some of you) Sex is a spiritual thing and those who claim to have no control are really admitting that they are out of alignment with the creator and Father of us ALL. Very few people realize that it is that deep because we just think that we have needs, at least that’s what I used to say when that feeling would hit. “Damn, I need me some, and I can’t go without, so let me find somebody to help me with this problem.” The real deal is that I was looking for what only God could give me and I thought that I could find it between the legs of another woman. And for some of you that read this, it may be another man.

I don’t want you to have to go through the drama that I went through back in the day all because I couldn’t get control over my desires. God had to really come with it to get my attention and THAT HE DID! When God got my attention, I thought that I had hit a brick wall, LITERALLY. When God got my attention, I realized in an instant that getting a nutt wasn’t that serious. When God got my attention, my desire ALL OF A SUDDEN changed because I realized the bigger picture of LYFE. It took all of that for me, and the question is what is it going to take for you? Is something tragic going to have to happen for you to wake up and LIVE, 4 real?

Imprisoned? Break Out!

Why Keep Silent? I received a great amount of feedback from that question and it has catapulted me to come to the conclusion that as long as I keep silent, I DON’T HAVE TO DEAL WITH MY OWN MESS. It’s rather easy to stay on the sidelines in what people call the “cheap seats” because there is no level of accountability there. I remind myself often of the times when I kept my mouth shut because of fear of what would happen if I opened my mouth and GOT REAL. I allowed my own mind to talk me into staying silent; therefore, I didn’t have to deal with the enemy inside of ME. That’s why most of us tend to go along this journey with little to say because we think that as long as we don’t say anything, then we won’t be held accountable. THAT’S A LIE! I want to let you know, because I discovered it personally, you are deceiving yourself into thinking that the mess in your life is just for you. It’s not all about you. There are lives connected to you who are hoping and praying for you to make the right decisions on this journey. There are children who are still in the womb who are connected to you and me and they’re prayer is that we DO THE RIGHT THING and deal with our mess NOW. I know it’s rough and inconvenient. I know first hand how hard it is because it took me years before I was able to open my mouth and confess to being molested. It took me years to talk about the scars that I kept covered up in my life. But the flip side of that is by confessing the events that took place, by opening my mouth and calling an ace an ace and spade a spade, it rendered the enemy powerless against me. It also brought me to a level of boldness that I, otherwise, would have never reached.

I’m happy to say that TODAY I ain’t scarred of anything! I’m not walking around wondering who is saying what behind my back. I’ve figured one thing out along this journey; people are going to talk about you whether you like it or not. People are going to either make something up OR take the truth and twist it for their own pleasure. It doesn’t matter to me because the lives of the youth and the unborn mean more to me than people who gossip. And to be honest, THOSE WHO GOSSIP ONLY DO SO TO COVER THEIR OWN MESS!

It’s a constant struggle on this journey because just when you think you’ve gotten one issue under control, HERE COMES ANOTHER ONE! I didn’t know I had so much wrong with me when I started confessing my issues but what do I do? Stop? No, I have to keep trudging through the dirt because somewhere deep within there is some treasure. Plus there are others who are looking at me that need desperately to see how to get out of the dirt in their own lives. That’s how I go through this journey, keeping forever in my mind that there is a greater glory on the other side of my dirt. Knowing that someone that I may not even know will be helped tremendously by me dealing with my mess is exactly what keeps me on this journey called Life! I stayed silent for years because I wanted people to stop talking about me! AND THEY TALKED ANYWAY! So now, I figure that I will just give them something to talk about! ME! If they don’t like it, OH WELL it’s too bad because I’m not going anywhere any time soon! I don’t mind the gossip now, I see it as free publicity to what God’s manifesting in my life!

Are you still imprisoned by what others think of you? If you are you need to be freed from public opinion! Break out of the chains that are holding you hostage today! It’s not easy and it takes time but if you purpose in your heart to be genuine and authentic, then at least you’re in the beginning of the pursuit of a lifetime. Pursuit of what you might ask…the pursuit of discovering who you really are and what you were created for.

Why Keep Silent?

This is a blatant question that receives little attention. For a while now, we’ve maneuvered in such a way where we didn’t have to address such a deep and complex question. But the question doesn’t go away just because we refuse to address it! Why do we keep silent? Hmmm…kind of makes you think for a minute about all of the drama that you know that’s going on in your life, but yet, you and I choose to go on with life as if nothing is going on. Why do we do this?

Well, for one, we do it because it’s convenient. It’s convenient to just go on with business as usual without being inundated with a new set of issues. We don’t want to be uncomfortable, and that’s exactly the problem. We’re already uncomfortable because we know that what’s being seen publicly isn’t what it really is, so why do we lie to ourselves and act as if as long as we go along with the program, we’ll be okay? It’s a trick of the enemy, that’s why! As long as he can get us to believe that we’re better off keeping our mouths shut, he’s got us right where he wants us…behind enemy lines!

I used to deal with this as a child day-in and day-out. “Should I speak and tell what’s going on or should I stay quiet?” I used to think that it’d be better if I didn’t tell anyone that something was going on inside of me. I used to think that it’d be better and I’d probably have a better chance of fitting into the crowd if I’d keep my mouth shut. But on the flip side, if I was accepted into a crowd based on false pretenses (which most of us are) am I really being accepted or am I going to have to be bothered with covering up the lies for the rest of my life? I don’t know, these are just questions that I have come to ask myself this day regarding my decision to SPEAK out!

It’s amazing what being molested will do to your self-esteem. I literally stood by and almost watched my entire life pass by me because I allowed my pre-conceived thoughts to control my destiny. I allowed the fear of the unknown to take authority over my situation, and that authority rendered me powerless! I was a slave to my own mind and was of no use to anyone, mainly myself. My decision to speak came at a time when I was on the brink of a nervous breakdown because I was suffering from the disease that I call, “people.” Let me explain. I was more worried about people and what they would say about me if I told them the truth than I was my own well being. I was so “caught up” with making sure my image was spotless because I had been raised to believe that it was all about looking a certain way! I was caught up “alright” with the wrong thing and that wrong thing almost killed me!

I thank God this day that I chose to speak up and out into my future. I’m glad that the drama that took place in my life squeezed me into a place where I now have no fear of what others think of me. We spend our entire life keeping quiet, trying to, as we call it, keep folks out of our business, when people, for the most part, could care less about your past. And those who do have dirt in their own life that they’re trying to cover up themselves.

I remember being molested and thinking to myself that it was my fault and that I possibly did something wrong that provoked the man to do what he did to me. Because of fear, I allowed myself to be imprisoned in my own mindset and everything I did after that was directly related to the offense that took place in my life way back when.

Have you checked your past to see what happened that has caused you to go “off-course?” And if so, what’s keeping you from confessing that thing so it can no longer be a hindrance to your journey in life? Why do we keep silent? That’s a good question but it’s a question that can only be answered by you! I can’t answer it for you. There is a spirit of genocide that rests over the heads of people of African-American descent because we, as a people, have a complex regarding confessing our issues. It’s as if we are the only ones who are going through the storms when we aren’t. If I were you, I’d get whatever issue has been holding onto you out on the table and begin dissecting it so you can see how the enemy has been able to keep you imprisoned! I’d expose him at the place of your most sensitive vulnerability. I compel you to let the healing begin. Let the scars that you’ve kept hidden begin to heal once and for all so you can move on and begin LIVIN’ 4 REAL!

LYFE: Will you make a Difference?

The days that we are living in are filled with so much tragedy. I was reflecting today about a group of children who died of smoke inhalation from a burning apartment. I can’t help but think about hearing the people talk about the screams coming from the window of that burning apartment complex. All of them died…why? Why? Why do children have to suffer for mistakes often made by adults? Why Lord, why? Reading the commentary in the newspaper brought me to tears because I put my place in the shoes of the father of those children and I wondered what my life would mean to me had they belonged to me? The bible tells me that I brought nothing into this world and when it’s over with, I’ll take nothing with me either. Nothing material that is. Oftentimes I see a world full of people who spend the majority of the day working to acquire stuff. Working to keep up with the smiths’ and the jones’ and it really never amounts to anything at all. We get stuff and then we’re still not satisfied with life because we always want more. We want money, power, and sex and if we were to really be true to ourselves we want as much as we can get of all three. In this life we are in search of something…what? Peace in the midst of confusion. If I could just get peace even when things don’t go my way, at least my mind would be still and I’d be able to look unto the hills, which is where my help comes from. I’m just Richard. I’m not superman, although, as a leader, I’ve done a good job painting the picture like I’m all that and then some. To many of my kids, I’m a hero but to me, I’m the Clark Kent that wants to stay out of sight, out of mind and out of pocket. Why? Because deep down within, I feel so insignificant and helpless, especially when tragedy strikes with such a resounding hit!

I don’t even know that family, but I mourn as if they were my own kids. I never lived in an apartment complex to understand the close proximity of everything, but my mind takes me back to when I lived in the dormitory on my college campus. I remember how my family was my entire floor. I remember how we left our doors open and would go from room to room and talk and play games with one another. I remember how, even in the midst of camaraderie on an all-African male campus, when we got down to the essence of our being, we were all on the same side, aiming and striving for excellence…a quest in life that very few ever achieve.

With my mind going so far back, I’m remembering the bond that I had with those on my dorm floor. It’s that same bond that has me mourning over the loss of life. Life is precious and whether we are young or old, when death hits our family it comes as a mighty blow! It’s very earth shattering even if you’re in Christ! I remember the day I found out my father died, suddenly of a massive heart attack. Although I appeared calm, I was screaming on the inside for my daddy. I was screaming on the inside for the man that had become a “god” in my sight. I was screaming for my hero, I was screaming for the man that made everything work together for good because I was his son. His death, to me left me uncovered. I felt naked and alone. I struggled because in one breadth, I went from being the son, to the one that had to look after my mother and sister. I went from being the 24-year-old child to having to open my eyes and see the world for what it was and still is today, cold and heartless. I didn’t realize how good I had it with my father until he departed this journey called LYFE.

So many of us take life for granted. We don’t look at each day in the way we should, we always think in the back of our mind that we are promised a tomorrow. Well, I had to face the fact over the past few days that I can be hear today and gone in just a minute. Life is but a vapor of smoke…you see it and then it’s gone. Lord, please open my eyes to be able to understand the essence of life. Lord, please open the eyes of the generations so that we can make each day count. Because when it’s all said and done, we’re all living this life to live again. This life is training for our reigning with Christ! After this world is over and has come to an end, I’m reminded that the bible tells me that John, the revelator, saw a new heaven and a new earth. A lot of people don’t talk about it, but Jesus is coming back to set up a new kingdom here and I want to be able to say that I used my time here on earth to train for the life hereafter. I don’t want it said that I drank my time away. I don’t want it said that I smoked my time away. And I sure don’t want it said that I “sexed” my time away either. I want the generations coming behind me to be able to say that I made a difference in life. That it mattered that I was born. I want my epitaph to read:

Pastor Rich
Father, Husband, Son, Brother, and true Friend to the generations that are coming.
It mattered that I was born. 1973----

In Pursuit of Purpose

I’ve been talking to a lot of young people and everyone is wondering what their purpose is in life. The question that they keep asking is, “why am I here?” This is the question of life. Why? When you understand the why, everything else falls in place. Why was I born? Why did God let me be born into a dire situation? These are questions that young people across this nation are asking and we’ve got to be prepared to help them with the fundamentals of life. If a teenager doesn’t have a clue as to what their purpose is, then how in the hell are they going to tell their illegitimate children who and what they were created for? It’s a cycle that we have to interrupt before it gets more out of hand than it is today! My heart goes out to the number of young men I mentor day-in and day-out who are trying to fit in with the world but seem unable too. They keep going around in circles trying to get in where they can fit in all because they didn’t have a father in the home to steer them and aim them in the right direction as a toddler. Now someone may get offended because as a single mother you were with your child and you taught him or her right from wrong. More power to you for your endurance and your dedication, however, God never ordained for a child to be reared up with a mom working as both the mom and dad! A father’s role cannot be filled in by a woman, now she can be graced with an uncanny ability to be strong and have great amounts of wisdom, however that child is going to yet crave for the touch of a father…if theirs is nowhere to be found.

Purpose…purpose…purpose…I can’t help but intercede for this generation of youth and young adults who are wandering around aimlessly looking for love, acceptance, and affirmation from anybody who is willing to give it. Never mind the manipulation that is involved, never mind the price that they may have to pay, they’ll do whatever it is to fit in and be accepted, even to the point of risking their life. That’s what I’m trippin’ about…we have an entire generation that lacks identity because no one ever told them who they were and what they were created for. What many people don’t know about most of the “stars” throughout the world, they cover up their hurts, disappointments, and low self-esteem and make believe like everything is okay. They look like they really “got it goin’ on!” When, in fact, if you really knew how miserable they were, you’d truly have to think twice about what your aims and desires are in this life!

How do you spend your time throughout the day? Do you spend it trying to keep up with the Smith’s and Jones’ or do you spend it trying to understand your Creator? Do you spend your day trying to see who you can lay up IN? I know I used too…I thought that that was the end all of life…to see how many partners I could sleep with…who else I could add to my count total!!! But, sleeping around only gave me pleasure for the moment! There was nothing that could sustain me because just as quick as the orgasm would come, I would be filling empty just that fast cuz the thrill was over!

So, I ask you, what’s your purpose in life? What were you created for? I mean, it’s easy to pontificate a nice spiritual answer and say that you were created to glorify God, but what does that mean? We have to stop with the cliché’s and get some substantive answers to some of life’s difficult questions. If we don’t, we run the risk of losing yet another generation to a world system that takes all it can take before throwing you to the wolves.

I’m praying that others will feel me on this and rise up and join in the battle to change a generation!

Don't Forget!

Family can be crazy as hell sometimes! I warned one of my brothers about sleeping with this chick cuz she is a slut! I told him but he wouldn't listen to me! Now, the thing that I really hate about it is that he didn't wear a condom and I've already told him time and time again that he needed to stop before something terrible happened that he couldn't get rid of!

Now, I hear that the slut is leaving town...after she got the d!$# and who knows what else? This all could have been avoided if he had only listened to me. I didn't go through the stuff I went through, such as molestation, being at the health clinic on more than one occasion for catching a sexually transmitted disease, paying for abortion after abortion, to get to the priesthood and act like I can't remember. Hell, I remember as if it were yesterday!

I'm a single man, so I know how hard it can be when you're not married. I know how it is in the middle of the night when you really want someone next to you, not for sex, but for security. I know how it is...to long to have someone's body heat next to you in the middle of the night! I remember the days that I would be with someone different every night, just because I was afraid to be by myself! I can't forget where I came from!

Now, that time has come and gone, never to come back again! I've been burned too many times by too many different people to think that I'll ever lay with someone and NOT be protected! I don't play that! I pray that my brother doesn't catch anything from yet, another trist! I also am praying that she doesn't come up pregnant or anything like that!

Makes me wonder, what would make him lose all his cool points over a piece of ____!? Is it that good that you'd be willing to risk catching something that could become a death sentence? Hmmm Kinda makes me think. But I can't think without remembering how off da hook I used to be and wondering why I did what I did? That's the way I choose to help this generation...by not judging but through the love that God showed me. I have no right to walk away because if God could do what He did in my life, then He can transform this generations!

I tell you, no matter where you are on your journey, DON'T FORGET where you came from!

A.S.A.P.

This has been a very strenuous week so far. The reason is because I’m preparing to talk to a lot of young people from across the state of Ohio and I want to make sure I’m prepared. When preparing for a task like this, nervousness is not something I deal with. I’ve been speaking in front of large groups for some time now so the issue isn’t the crowd. The real issue is my ability to penetrate their hearts. I don’t like talking if it isn’t going to mean anything. Another way of putting it, I don’t like talking just to make people feel good. That’s the last thing on my mind. When I stand before the people of God, I have to first remember why I’m in front of them. Not because of anything that I’ve done, but because God chose me. He chose me to minister from my spirit to theirs. Not to try to excite them, pump them up, get them to run, jump, flip, or roll. None of that!

I was created to wake some folk up and that by any means necessary. Not just by any means. I won’t fake the funk and make myself out to be “all that” and then some in order to impress the crowd. That’s not me, it’s never been and it’s too late to start that BS now! It’s time to show them the authenticity behind the collar. It’s time to show them that no matter their past mistakes and even the stuff that they’re caught up in NOW, there is still a better day coming. No matter what the family situation is, my job is to remind them of their spiritual family, that, although, they may not understand, it’s the spirit that brings life to their issues that have died along the wayside.

I used to stand before people and pontificate rhetoric. I used to sit and be excited because of crowds and think that I could build a nice portfolio for myself if I had fancy words to spew forth. That used to be me, but what happened?

It got real…that’s what happened. I woke up and realized that life was NO game. I got burned one too many times and I finally got the picture that death was something that could happen to me. Wow, what an alarming wake up call! Growing up, I believed that I didn’t have to follow the rules like so many young people today. Who better else to talk to them?

Well, it’s on and poppin! I’ve been praying that God would have His way as we attempt to change a generation. No more games! No more sugar coatin’ what needs to be str8 up talk! It’s time to open up and reveal the REAL DEAL! Too many of us are dying at an alarming rate to have it or be satisfied with any other way!

It’s time to do it NOW! Not tomorrow, but I’ve got to prepare a generation that is coming up behind me to do even greater than our forefathers. How can I reach them if I’m scurred of being real? How else can I reach them if I’m afraid of those who’ll talk about me! I ain’t scurred and I ain’t gonna hold back! Now is the time…as my boy TI would say…ASAP!

Do What He Said!

We have come to a point on this journey where God has said some things and then He shuts His mouth! That’s where a lot of us are at today! When you get to this point on your journey...and He’s not saying anything…operate on the last thing He told you. Sometimes we get anxious and feel as if God is moving too slow! I know I do. Sometimes we wish He would hurry up and manifest the blessings that we’ve been praying for…let’s see if I can sporadically spew them forth…cuz they’ve come down to a science…the only things we pray for now…are “Lord give me a house…Lord give me a car! Lord I need money…Lord I need a job…Lord I need a companion (this is what single people pray)…Lord I need to be single (this is the one married people pray), and God doesn’t answer…why?

Because most times…if He gave us what we were praying for the blessing would be a curse. Because if He gave us the house…we would get stuck up and haughty…and forget when we were renting…if He gave us the car we would end up in places that He wouldn’t want us to be in…which would end up cursing us…because we would get entangled in situations and maybe have even more illegitimate children…if He gave us the money…we would do what we, as a people do, spend on depreciable assets and not put anything into investments for a great return down the road, the clothes would all be on our backs, if He gave us the job….we would forget what times service started...because we would be the saint that couldn’t quite make it to church because we were working all the time…disconnecting ourselves from the proceeding word of God!….If He gave us the companion…we would center our world around the companion and would forget all about Christ. (It happens every day) if He opened up the door for us to get single…we would open our children up to the spirit of divorce to the 3rd and 4th generations (believe me when I tell you to look at children of divorce and illegitimacy and see if this is generational, look back 2 and 3 generations and ask for yourself)

As I am writing this right now, I can’t help but get stuck on today’s title, DO WHAT HE SAID! That statement, although rather short, is, in fact, quite heavy. Why? Because, for the most part, we don’t believe, within ourselves that we have the ability to do what it is God is telling us! But would God have said to do it otherwise? Well, you know what…yes He would have because God’s strength is made perfect in our weakness!!!! The final analysis is, we can’t do what He said WITHOUT Him! So if we haven’t moved on what He told us to do my question to you and to me is…do we really have Him?
If you have to ask yourself the question, then you have to admit there is a problem with our inability to freely give Him everything. We won’t admit it in front of people but…but if the truth be told, we don’t believe that we can give God the ugly stuff that is hidden deep down in the hidden parts of our soul. We really believe that our hidden mess disqualifies us from walking and doing what He told us to do. Stop being afraid to mess up! Stop being afraid…it’s a trick of the enemy to get you to think that God only uses people who are perfect. Well if that’s the case, other than Christ, name one person in the word of God that didn’t mess up!!! Can’t name any because there aren’t any! Don’t allow the enemy to put you in a trick bag! Once you come to the Lord and ask for forgiveness He throws our sins into the sea of forgetfulness and remembers them no more! We are who God says we are!!!! On this day tell your ungodly soul ties to go to hell and…Do what He told you to do…and see the salvation of the Lord!